i camt help but think they hate me
im such a party pooper. they probably think im lame
tonight, i kinda got drunk and my friends tried to pressure to me kiss this guy so i can finally have my first kiss, it was so awkward. i kept telling them to stop. i wasnt ready. IM NOT READY. i want it to be special. i dont want to be drunk. i want to remember.i had a feeling this was gonna happen. they found out ive never had my first kiss through the game “never have i ever’. they just wouldnt let it go! and they kept telling this guy to kiss me. but i didnt want to. I WASNT READY. IM NOT READY. im 19 i get it, but i want it to be special. so i ran out of the room, and my roommate triied blocking the door and i pushed her and she fell to the floor, i didnt mean to. IM NOT A BAD PERSON. I DIDNT MEAN TO. i got so scared. i panicked. so i kept running out of the room. now im here. i know yall dont care,. i just need to vent. im scarred. for life. i wont be able to see everyone in the room without thinking of tonight. i wont be able to see the guy who was gonna kiss me without thinking i offended him. im so scared. i live with these ppl. i go to school with them. they are my floor mates. im so scared. im such a fucking ass hole. sorry.